JMO- Just My Opinion

Today I will be speaking on relationships. I am in no way an expert or pretend to be. I just observe what I see and base my opinions on what I am seeing. I feel that many are getting into relationships too soon, without first getting to know the person they are dating before jumping into titles and commitments. It takes time to get to know anyone, whether its a friend, significant other. People are dating and in a few weeks they are already claiming a title, what do you really know about someone in a matter of weeks? Even months can go by and you still may not know who you are really dating. Some people let their wall down and give themselves up to another very quickly where others it may take years for the wall to slowly come down. It is important to take your time, do your research, yes! Investigate who you are getting involved with. Meet their family before having children with them. Some people have bad past experiences that if not dealt with correctly can carry over into your present situation. A person who has been abused, and have not sought out the help they need, or maybe they were an abuser but never gotten counseling, these are situations that will eventually surface in the future. If your dating someone who has cheated on everyone they have ever dated, but you feel your special and it won't happen with you, chances are your fooling yourself. Sometimes the idea of being in a relationship, the idea of being in love, the idea of having someone to call your own is so overpowering that it leads us to latch on to what we think is the real thing, but we realize later on that what we did was jump into a situation that we thought we could make into what we wanted. ( I hope you understand what I just said). Scenario #1 You just met a man or woman on Monday, sleep with him (and I am stretching this out), on Wednesday, on Friday that is your boyfriend/girlfriend, and on Monday of the following week your posting I love my man/woman. Don't you think that is too soon? RED FLAG- Slow down, your rushing things get to know him/her take your time, what do you know about his/her past sexual history? Scenario #2 You meet her Monday, sleep with her the same week. He is already claiming your his girl, he starts to tell you he doesn't like your friends and wants you to stop hanging out with them, he says your beautiful, but doesn't want you to wear certain clothing, he calls you many times a day, has to know what your doing at all times. You think it's cute; "Awe, he misses me, or Awe he is jealous that means he loves me". RED FLAG- Potential controller, stalker, abuser. Scenario #3 Signs of jealousy, control and anger is present, but overall he/she is a sweet loving person. You feel I can change him/her. All they need is love, it will all be ok. RED FLAG- Be aware of the warning signs. Broken people need help, professional help. They can't be fixed with love. Scenario #4 I love him, but he has a record. He can't seem to get a job, it's ok I will hold him down. Love is about more than money. I work, pay the bills and as long as he loves me we are good. I find this to be a trend now, many woman are working taking care of men who are not working, calling them "A MAN", in some instances it is ok, for the man to stay home, take care of the kids, and the house and be Mr.Mom, However if he is home all day, running the streets or laid up doing nothing all day and waiting for you to come home, buy the food, cook the food and take care of him. RED FLAG- Your raising up a lazy man. The bible says if a man don't work, he don't eat. I think this is the same for a man. A man should not be with a woman who has no motivation to do more in life. JMO (Just my opinion).

In my feelings, Life is so much more.

Some days I get so emotional about things that matter to me. It is not a bad thing, I just strongly feel that many of the young children growing up behind us are lost.

I feel they need direction, support, guidance, and inspiration. If they are shown more than what they see on TV, videos, in songs and in the world they might actually have some hope. Many of the youth are not exposed to anything except what they see on TV or the lyrics they listen to. What happened to teaching our children about culture, diversity, showing them that there is more to life than the city, town they live in. I remember raising my kids, taking them to museums, taking them on trips outside of where we lived and allowing them to explore life through literature. Today if a child is not glued to a video game, music video or a computer, they are not having fun. They don't know what it is to have fun!Teach a child that life has so much to offer, let them know that traveling, exploring the world and positive opportunities opens doors, it opens their minds to life and what's out there. Make family time a ritual, weekly outings with your children, taking them to some place new and somewhere they can learn and gain knowledge. If a child grows up and all they see is the same thing over and over again, how do you expect them to be any different from what they see on a daily basis? We must broaden their chances of not being like the masses by means of exposure. Expose your child to more then the latest fashion. Life is much more than how fly, how much swag or style our kids have. Just thinking out loud.

You are more!

Life is funny, many people judge you by how you look, how you dress, the shape of your body, the size of your clothing and the job you hold. I think life is about way more than that. You can have a good job and be unhappy, have a beautiful face and body, and be unhappy and unhealthy, you can be the perfect size and still be unhappy. I have seen many judge family, friends based on who looks the best, whose shape is better, whose hair texture is better or hair is longer. I want to believe that I am more than my size, my hair, my shape, my dress, my job or what people use to judge from the outside looking in. I want to be known for my personality, how I treat others, how I love my friends and family, how I impact the world through my encouraging words, how I uplift my fellow sister's and brother's, how I raise my kids, how I am a great wife. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I want God to be my beholder. I am so much more than what you see on the outside, and so are you. Let your actions, your walk, your deeds show who you are. Be blessed and make a positive difference in the world. 'VSJ, She Uplifts, aka The Postal Pen.

What I do won't make me rich, but it makes me happy.

I often say that "what I do, won't make me rich, but it makes me happy". I say this because to me, it is important to do what makes me happy. Many look to get rich, I look to of course make a profit, but I am not trying to get rich. I love what I do, and the reward of being Happy doing what I do, far greater exceeds the rewards I gain financially. Money is good, we need it to pay bills, feed ourselves and our families, but being happy is richness, it is a blessing, it is a far greater reward in my opinion. I know that many disagree with that because if they had a choice of being happy and being rich, many will choose to be rich, because they feel money will buy or make them happy. What are your thoughts? I love feedback.

A Mother's Love

When a mother love she loves hard she loves strong she loves deeply she loves unconditionally

I wanted to write about how a mother loves because, our mother's are the first to love us. A mother carries us inside of her for nine months, and in those nine months she already starts to bond and fall in love with us. A mother is our first caregivers, she is the one who is there to hold, nurture, comfort and protect us. Not everyone has a mother who has guided them on the right path, some people are close to their mother's and others are not. Since a mother is that first female relationship that we have in our lives do you think it affects how we handle future relationships with other females? We learn to trust our mother's, and some mother's were not good mother's. Some mother's don't show love, are hard on the child, abusive, mentally, verbally and physically. Some mother's don't act like mother's at all. If you had a bad relationship with your mother don't let it ruin your relationship with your own children. We all have choices in life, we can either be like our mother's good or bad, or we can be our own person, and love our children, despite how we were treated. Being a mother doesn't come with a handbook, there are no perfect mother's out there, but you have the choice to be the best mother you can. So love fully, deeply, strongly and unconditionally.

She Uplifts (The Postal Pen): Encourage the Dreamer

She Uplifts (The Postal Pen): Encourage the Dreamer: We must be careful how we speak to our children, many times we can be discouraging them instead of encouraging them. We are not to determ...

Encourage the Dreamer

We must be careful how we speak to our children, many times we can be discouraging them instead of encouraging them. We are not to determine our children's dream, they are to figure out themselves what it is they want in life, and what they desire to do. Don't get me wrong, we can expose them to different things so that they have a wide range of ideas, or interest but we are not to choose for them. Just a thought: If your son says he wants to be a baseball player, don't brush it off as if it is a far fetched dream, put him in little league, encourage him as long as he shows interest, that may lead to the high school baseball team, maybe college and if he excels and is good at the sport, he could possibly become a professional player. The only dream that is not achievable is the one you never go after. If your daughter says she wants to become an actress, and you see she is really interested put her in acting classes, encourage her to join the drama department in school, take her to open auditions for roles in plays locally and away if possible. It may lead to her actually getting parts in small or large productions. My point in all of this is never shoot down your children's dreams, when we are children it is then when we dream with no limits, as we get older we allow fear, doubt and negative response's from others to discourage us in following our dreams. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS US. NEVER lose your ability to dream, and never discourage those who still believe they CAN do all and be all.

Learning to trust, after trust is broken

When your trust is broken, it takes time to build that trust up again and in some instances it is never rebuilt. In life we put our trust in everyone we know, from friends to family members to the people you date and eventually marry. We put our trust in our parents, our teachers and any other adult figure we have in our lives. Often times that trust is broken by those we love, family members who give promises they can't or don't keep, friends who we trust and confide in who in the end betray our trust. Sometimes it's our own children who lie to us, and betray us. No matter who it is that breaks your trust, it is a hurtful feeling, and in some instances that trust will never be the same again. Sometimes we can forgive and forget, sometimes we forgive, yet never forget, and sometimes we just can't move past the pain. What are your thoughts on trusting after, your trust is broken? My opinion is to forgive and move on, I never hold grudges because I feel it consumes too much of my energy and I am a positive person who doesn't waste time on negativity or things that are not productive. Pray, forgive, and let it go. That doesn't mean you allow yourself to be betrayed again, it just means you won't allow the mistakes of others to burden you. Walk in Joy/Not Chaos, She Uplifts, aka The Postal Pen

We must love ourselves

I have a strong desire to uplift and motivate girls to be more confident, have higher self-esteem and a higher level of respect for themselves. I feel that if we can uplift the young girls growing up and help to build them into more confident individuals we will have more women in the world who will have a greater sense of self. Many women say they are self confident, that they love themselves, and respect themselves yet they allow themselves to be taken advantage of, used, and disrespected. The same women who say they are strong women are the same women allowing a man to mistreat them, staying with a man who abuses you, cheats on you or verbally puts you down shows the total opposite, it doesn't show your strength but it shows your weakness. I don't know if it is their insecurity that is keeping them in relationships that weigh them down, or is it their lack of self-esteem that keeps them holding on? Many women feel they are nothing without a man, they feel if they don't have a man, then their world is turned upside down. If they learn to love themselves, they will learn that they have more value in who they are besides being someone's girl, wife, or significant other. It is a good thing to have a soul mate, a husband, someone to share your life with but it is not healthy to love a man more than you love yourself. Self love is the greatest love of all, aside from your love for God.

To be or not to be a friend?

Everybody needs somebody. I sometimes here people say they don't need anyone, I don't believe that to be true. Everyone needs someone. God made us to love one another and loving one another also means that we need each other. Now granted we don't need everyone, but we do need people in our lives. Sometimes the person or people you can rely on are family but sometimes that person may be a friend or a few friends. It is hard to find genuine friendships in life, as everyone who you think is a friend may not actually be a friend. There is a difference between friends, associates, and frienemies (I know that's not a real word) lol I do believe we were created to have friendships, but It is important to to know the difference between a real friend and people who portray themselves as friends. In some cases your family is your friends, they are the one's who are always there, the ones who you can call and depend on no matter whatever you are going through. However sometimes an outside person that you have grown to know, who has shown you loyalty and friendship and who has been more like family than your own family, they may be the one you turn to in your time of need. Many women are often envious of other women, jealous about their lives, their jobs, the way they dress, look or their relationships. I believe that if we as women spent more time building one another up, instead of tearing each other down, their would be more genuine friendships. I believe that we as women go through so much, and no one knows more about what a woman goes through than another woman. I feel we should be each other's greatest supporters, we should be that comfort, that positive force that keeps each other going. As women many of us look at each other in judgement, without even knowing each other. Many look at another woman and they say; "I don't like her", how can you not like someone you don't even know? What about that woman don't you like when you have not even had a conversation to get to know her? Another thing women do is make a judgement on another woman based on what someone else has told them. Get to know someone for yourself before you form an opinion about someone. It really is not fair to take someone else's word without first finding out for yourself if that person is of good character or not. How would you like to be judged without even being given a chance? Smile, because happiness begins with you, VSJ~ AKA She Uplifts, The Postal Pen~

You are beautiful

You are beautiful Even when you don't see it You are beautiful even when no one tells you

You are beautiful Know that within you is a light so bright It could light the darkest corner of the earth you have a glow, an essence about you that shines the love you have inside of you is worth more than you realize it is not to be given away to just anyone your worth is valuable don't ever let anyone tell you anything different your existence is no mistake God created you, you were uniquely designed you are someone, you mean something, and you matter so know that you are beautiful inside and out and most importantly God loves you. VSJ~ SheUplifts~

Are you trusting God in all things?

I was going through a life altering decision, and a talking with a friend on Facebook, she told me I need to let go and let God. Now I know this oh too well, yet I realize that when it comes to the big decisions in my life, I tend to still worry. I wonder why is it that when I go through smaller things, I let go and let God, but big things I hold on to. It is not that I don't trust God, I just find that with major life altering decisions I worry more, which makes it harder for me to fully let go. I know God is more than capable of handling ALL things so there is no need for me to hold on to worry and fear. I am learning more and more day by day to pray and trust in God. I know that he is the head of my life and he guides my path. knowing that I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me, is such a relaxed feeling. So think about your own life and ask yourself, are you trusting God in ALL things? or only somethings? Smile, for happiness begins with you, VSJ~ aka The Postal Pen~