Some people need validation.

In life everyone needs and wants to feel important, but not all of us need that from just anyone. Usually it is someone you love, like your spouse, parents, your child. Many men and women feel the need to gain attention of people on the outside rather than getting that attention at home. One should not need to have an other human being make them feel special. You should have confidence in who you are as a person. When you learn to love yourself and accept yourself you have less of a need to have someone else validate you as a person. So even when someone is in a marriage/relationship if you are not getting what you need at home, you should address that with your spouse/partner and work that out amongst yourself. Don't turn to another male or female with your problems, or to make you feel better about yourself. That only brings more drama and confusion into the situation. People are on the outside looking in like animals waiting to prey on other animals. When a person see's that there is a crack in your foundation, they always feel it is a way for them to slip into the cracks. Keep your foundation strong by repairing all cracks with the person you are in a relationship with, not seeking the advice of others. Pray and keep your union sealed with the word of God. God gives and takes away, so if you are not taking care of the person that God gifted to you, and they walk out of your life, you have no one to blame but yourself. RELATIONSHIPS take WORK, you can not keep a relationship going strong by slacking off and thinking it will be nurtured, nourished and cared for on it's own. Talk is cheap and only actions prove what your intentions really are.

Who do you turn to?

I am never at a loss for words, I can express myself with no hesitation. When life throws us curve balls, obstacle, storms,and disappointments it is sometimes hard to understand why. Often those times hit us when we least expect it, but we must always look at life on a half full point of view. Sometimes the things that happen is God's way of showing us something, protecting us from something, or preparing us for something. We may not always understand what is going on, but always trust in God, because just the way he brings us to it, he will bring us through it. Feeling the need to release a balloon with a message attached, and watching it rise up to the Father. When life hits me, I turn to prayer, I never allow things to take me out of my peaceful place, God is my Rock, and when I am confused, unsure, feeling lost he comforts me, guides me and protects me. Who do you turn to, or what do you do when life hands you an unexpected circumstance?

Living despite the obstacles

I feel it is important to keep a positive state of mind no matter what you encounter in life. We must not allow the negativity of others to influence our lives, nor allow a bad circumstance to alter our paths. Many of us, have a path in which we are trying to follow, goals, dreams, a calling and the devil is busy so there will be obstacles that will come up, from time to time, and if we allow it to distract us, we will be thrown off course. Life hits us at the most unexpected times, things like loss of a job, loss of a loved one, financial issues and even health issue. However;we must always remember that EVERYONE, faces the same challenges at some point in their lives. It is how we handle what we face that makes us or breaks us. Have you ever notices that when some people lose a job it is the end of the world? They fall apart, get depressed, don't know what to do or how they will make it. Yet others, they handle things differently. They feel when one door closes, another will open, they keep faith in a higher power and believe that all things happen for a reason, and they wait in patience knowing that something better is on it's way. I am also a believer that a negative attitude, brings about more negativity. When I am having a not so great day, I turn things around by thinking about the things I am blessed with, the things that make me happy, and force the negative thoughts, or emotions away. Despite what you believe you are in control of your emotions. Choose to be happy, choose to receive joy, abundance, peace, love and kindness. If you want to be happy, YOU MUST BE HAPPY!, VSJ~ AKA She Uplifts, The Postal Pen Here are a few books I highly recommend.

JMO- Just My Opinion

Today I will be speaking on relationships. I am in no way an expert or pretend to be. I just observe what I see and base my opinions on what I am seeing. I feel that many are getting into relationships too soon, without first getting to know the person they are dating before jumping into titles and commitments. It takes time to get to know anyone, whether its a friend, significant other. People are dating and in a few weeks they are already claiming a title, what do you really know about someone in a matter of weeks? Even months can go by and you still may not know who you are really dating. Some people let their wall down and give themselves up to another very quickly where others it may take years for the wall to slowly come down. It is important to take your time, do your research, yes! Investigate who you are getting involved with. Meet their family before having children with them. Some people have bad past experiences that if not dealt with correctly can carry over into your present situation. A person who has been abused, and have not sought out the help they need, or maybe they were an abuser but never gotten counseling, these are situations that will eventually surface in the future. If your dating someone who has cheated on everyone they have ever dated, but you feel your special and it won't happen with you, chances are your fooling yourself. Sometimes the idea of being in a relationship, the idea of being in love, the idea of having someone to call your own is so overpowering that it leads us to latch on to what we think is the real thing, but we realize later on that what we did was jump into a situation that we thought we could make into what we wanted. ( I hope you understand what I just said). Scenario #1 You just met a man or woman on Monday, sleep with him (and I am stretching this out), on Wednesday, on Friday that is your boyfriend/girlfriend, and on Monday of the following week your posting I love my man/woman. Don't you think that is too soon? RED FLAG- Slow down, your rushing things get to know him/her take your time, what do you know about his/her past sexual history? Scenario #2 You meet her Monday, sleep with her the same week. He is already claiming your his girl, he starts to tell you he doesn't like your friends and wants you to stop hanging out with them, he says your beautiful, but doesn't want you to wear certain clothing, he calls you many times a day, has to know what your doing at all times. You think it's cute; "Awe, he misses me, or Awe he is jealous that means he loves me". RED FLAG- Potential controller, stalker, abuser. Scenario #3 Signs of jealousy, control and anger is present, but overall he/she is a sweet loving person. You feel I can change him/her. All they need is love, it will all be ok. RED FLAG- Be aware of the warning signs. Broken people need help, professional help. They can't be fixed with love. Scenario #4 I love him, but he has a record. He can't seem to get a job, it's ok I will hold him down. Love is about more than money. I work, pay the bills and as long as he loves me we are good. I find this to be a trend now, many woman are working taking care of men who are not working, calling them "A MAN", in some instances it is ok, for the man to stay home, take care of the kids, and the house and be Mr.Mom, However if he is home all day, running the streets or laid up doing nothing all day and waiting for you to come home, buy the food, cook the food and take care of him. RED FLAG- Your raising up a lazy man. The bible says if a man don't work, he don't eat. I think this is the same for a man. A man should not be with a woman who has no motivation to do more in life. JMO (Just my opinion).

In my feelings, Life is so much more.

Some days I get so emotional about things that matter to me. It is not a bad thing, I just strongly feel that many of the young children growing up behind us are lost.

I feel they need direction, support, guidance, and inspiration. If they are shown more than what they see on TV, videos, in songs and in the world they might actually have some hope. Many of the youth are not exposed to anything except what they see on TV or the lyrics they listen to. What happened to teaching our children about culture, diversity, showing them that there is more to life than the city, town they live in. I remember raising my kids, taking them to museums, taking them on trips outside of where we lived and allowing them to explore life through literature. Today if a child is not glued to a video game, music video or a computer, they are not having fun. They don't know what it is to have fun!Teach a child that life has so much to offer, let them know that traveling, exploring the world and positive opportunities opens doors, it opens their minds to life and what's out there. Make family time a ritual, weekly outings with your children, taking them to some place new and somewhere they can learn and gain knowledge. If a child grows up and all they see is the same thing over and over again, how do you expect them to be any different from what they see on a daily basis? We must broaden their chances of not being like the masses by means of exposure. Expose your child to more then the latest fashion. Life is much more than how fly, how much swag or style our kids have. Just thinking out loud.

You are more!

Life is funny, many people judge you by how you look, how you dress, the shape of your body, the size of your clothing and the job you hold. I think life is about way more than that. You can have a good job and be unhappy, have a beautiful face and body, and be unhappy and unhealthy, you can be the perfect size and still be unhappy. I have seen many judge family, friends based on who looks the best, whose shape is better, whose hair texture is better or hair is longer. I want to believe that I am more than my size, my hair, my shape, my dress, my job or what people use to judge from the outside looking in. I want to be known for my personality, how I treat others, how I love my friends and family, how I impact the world through my encouraging words, how I uplift my fellow sister's and brother's, how I raise my kids, how I am a great wife. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I want God to be my beholder. I am so much more than what you see on the outside, and so are you. Let your actions, your walk, your deeds show who you are. Be blessed and make a positive difference in the world. 'VSJ, She Uplifts, aka The Postal Pen.

What I do won't make me rich, but it makes me happy.

I often say that "what I do, won't make me rich, but it makes me happy". I say this because to me, it is important to do what makes me happy. Many look to get rich, I look to of course make a profit, but I am not trying to get rich. I love what I do, and the reward of being Happy doing what I do, far greater exceeds the rewards I gain financially. Money is good, we need it to pay bills, feed ourselves and our families, but being happy is richness, it is a blessing, it is a far greater reward in my opinion. I know that many disagree with that because if they had a choice of being happy and being rich, many will choose to be rich, because they feel money will buy or make them happy. What are your thoughts? I love feedback.